yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
