Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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