So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Someone came in the potted fern
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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