i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
