the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
