a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
How naked do you want me to be?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
