nut hugger
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
