so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
