Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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