well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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