If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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