i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
