His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
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got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
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We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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