i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Randomize
