sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm getting married
To pizza
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
