halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
