Me. At least after what I've been through.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
