Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
