There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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