normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
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right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
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I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
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