return my video game
I wish I could teleport
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We talked him into tasing himself.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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