I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
