guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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