Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
