I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
