the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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