I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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