Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
