chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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