This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
