Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
