She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
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we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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