So drunk, too bad you don't want this
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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