Just cropdusted the office
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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