there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
