I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
