it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
