I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
