I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
