): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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