A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
