Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
