Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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