so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
