Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
