I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
