I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
