i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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