He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
