i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
