Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
