Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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