I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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