i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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