don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
