OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
