I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
