what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
