Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
