Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Couch. On fire.
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