so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
