drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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